A Modern Woman on the Move

in hot pursuit of the great green light…

Archive for the ‘sex’ Category

Trinidad: We 3 In Love & Strength

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I hardly post on here anymore, I mostly post on tumblr now, I guess, but I haven’t totally forgotten about this blog…

I suppose I should first announce that Matt, Marco, and I have launched our weekly bio comic, The Feeling Is Multiplied, and you should check it out!

Next, I wanted to share this Love Day mix I made for Matt and Marco… It’s all one file, I take pride on mixing tracks and getting a theme just right, tell me what you think!

trinidadtracklist_lores

It’s Not Like You Get Out And You’re Suddenly Just Magically Who You Used to Be

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Big sighs today. Just because you fall in love someone, doesn’t mean they can meet your emotional needs.

I am still healing from so much that new, unintentional, small wounds can seem insurmountable…

And, when hurt, however accidentally, I need a lot of action taken to heal, not just sweet words. Words are nice, but so easily faked… Which is how I got to this condition, being with someone who lied or false-promised too often. What action though? Gosh, I don’t even know, but things don’t feel okay now. Being this way makes me feel so high maintenance, but I guess that is just how it is when the l-word jumps in and you become fluid-bonded. Maybe I am still not ready and it doesn’t matter how nice everyone is or how much I want to trust them. My hurt is deepening because it’s like the other people involved just get to move on and I am stuck, my heart is frozen with fear because of a little accident. Well, to be fair to myself, a little accident right after some lack of sexual health awareness. I don’t want to be stuck, but words don’t seem to be enough to ease the pain of a boundary crossed and the feeling that something has been taken away from me, however accidentally.

I talked to my counselor about it yesterday, I talked to some poly friends about it today, I came to some more conclusions, but goddamn if everything isn’t a work in progress all the time.

Written by lovemotionstory

August 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm