A Modern Woman on the Move

in hot pursuit of the great green light…

Archive for the ‘questions’ Category

The Feeling as an Image?

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So, we’ve worked out the name for our new project is definitely The Feeling Is Multiplied and I’ve been working on a little logo action…

Which do you prefer?

The first?

logo_thefeelingismultiplied_lores

The second?

logo3_thefeelingismultiplied_lores

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Written by lovemotionstory

March 6, 2014 at 4:21 pm

What Do You Feel?

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Dear friends! Most of you know that Marco, Matt, and I have been working on making a poly bio comic that we’ll update weekly. It’s a pretty big, multifaceted project, we will all contribute to the scripts and story ideas (well, our lives are the story ideas), Marco and I will also sometimes draw it, but Matt will be the main artist. We even plan on taking submissions for comics having to do with non monogamy to feature guest artists. The website for it is also going to be a place where we talk about our lives and our other projects.

ANYWAYS, we are torn between two names, so we’d like to ask all of you lovelies to give us your two cents….

If it helps, these are the two songs of inspiration for us…

Written by lovemotionstory

January 28, 2014 at 9:08 pm

On Oppression, Intersectionality, and Solidarity

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I wanted to share this comic that I saw thanks to my friend Chelsea.

 

Word! I love that this was this person’s final project, the comic highlights a common misogyny in nerd culture and it is so bravely personal. Total respect for the feminism here, this person showing their own struggle and being vulnerable, while recognizing another perspective for women in nerd culture who is also struggling even though they might conform to narrow guidelines of beauty-based-on-size.

If you relate to being left out by the rampant sexism in comics and nerd culture, if you relate to being belittled, objectified, harassed, etc. based on your gender despite thinking that nerd space should be a safe space… Well, you might also want to check out this amazing article by super intelligent nerd, Rachel Ediden. http://feminspire.com/idiot-nerd-girl-has-a-posse-taking-back-the-meme/

Speaking of super intelligent nerds, I went to the really awesome panel “Looking Past the Target Audience” at SCF this past weekend, but missed it at ECCC. It was really great to listen to the conversation with Rachel EdidinAndy KhouriFaith Erin HicksScotty IseriSfé M., and David Walker sitting on the panel. There was a lot on intersectionality, which was crucial! Intersectionality is a concept often used to describe the ways in which oppressive institutions (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, xenophobia, classism, etc.) are INTERCONNECTED and cannot be examined separately from one another. Third Wave Feminism, especially, thrived on the concept of intersectionality in order to redefine Feminism as inclusive. The concept of intersectionality first came from legal scholar Kimberle Crenshaw in 1989 and is largely used in critical theories, especially Feminist theory, when discussing systematic oppression.

If you missed it or if you want to be having these kinds of discussions, I would recommend checking out their tumblr (thatonepanel.tumblr.com).

For me, one of the most moving moments of the panel was when Sfé was talking about how an aspect of their process for creating Kyle & Atticus was to write a gender queer character with positive support and acceptance in their life. I think it really hit home for me because a lot of the stuff Matt, Marco, and I have been dealing with Matt’s parents understanding what our polyamorous relationship means and learning that I am a queer atheist. Essentially, he’s been coming out to them and it’s been really hard. That in addition to struggles I have always had with people being unsupportive toward me. This struggle, having parents, acquaintances, lovers, and even a long-time best-friend have acted as if they are shamed by me or have been demeaning or hateful toward me for any of the various reasons people have antagonistic or problematic relationships with me. That I am a woman, that I am queer, that I am polyamorous, that I  am or do all these things that they can’t relate to, that I fall under any of the labels in their mind that they view as “bad” and then I go on to dare to have opinions, ideas, boundaries, and confidence to be myself. I am motivated to work with kids exactly because I want to try to be that influence in their life, to be the person who says, “You have a voice and it’s important.” Or, “I accept who you are and I will treat you as a person with their own autonomy and agency.” To be a supportive adult. To be an educator that empowers kids to think for themselves and to be themselves. I write about my experiences in the hopes that I can grow and that I might provide support to peers who can see themselves in me because I realize the positive impact that people have had in my life by being themselves and being open about it, as I have written about a few times on this blog. I really respected that Sfé talked about writing supportive roles in the comics on purpose, because I agree with her that creating those characters in stories feeds into the mothers and friends and parents and whoever seeing themselves in the life of a gender queer person or other underrepresented, marginalized people in our society. We really need those role models.

I also want to give huge props to the panel “The Big Picture,” where a bit of gender and intersectionality issues were discussed kind of inadvertently, with Alison Baker, Kelly Sue DeConick, Jen Vaughn, Shannon Watters, and Emi Lenox. As well as the focus of the panel, discussing how the internet has changed comics, especially independent publishing as, to my knowledge, most of the panelists had roots in indie comics and zines.

Personally, I believe that one of the biggest steps in activism is showing up, being visible.

If you have the ability and patience just to be there, that is a huge step.

Do what you can, REALIZE WHAT YOU CAN DO.

Do say hello to the creators and organizations you do want to support. Do buy zines and comics or whatever from the creators you think deserve it for whatever reason you value them. Do go to the panels that talk about issues you care about. Do say thank you (in person or online) to the panelists, we can’t hear it enough. Do blog/tweet/whatever about it. Do talk to your friends about the creations and panels you do enjoy or support. Do volunteer for an organization you think serves a valuable role in your community. Do go to an event that highlights creators and issues that you feel are important or meaningful. Do start your own event, especially if it’s an event you wish existed but doesn’t. Do make your own stories and creative work that reflects your experience, your passion, your values, your ideas. Do listen to or support the people who have different experiences than yourself.

I long lost the patience to volunteer for SCF, but I try to keep showing up to support the people who I do see promoting real conversations and ethical work I commend those who love comics and other cismale/white dominated communities. I have been able to devote myself to working on the Portland Zine Symposium as an organizer for so many years because it strives and works hard to be a safe space, an inclusive community with anti-oppressive ethics.

Also, I want to take this opportunity to promote the Women of Color Zine Symposium at PSU happening this summer, on June 8th. This is such an important event to support to me. It was started by Tonya Jones, a long-time Portland Zine Symposium attendee, powerful writer, and zine educator. The WOC Zine group that she started has self-published three issues of “Women of Color: How to Live in the City of Roses and Avoid the Pricks.” All three issues are available for $3 from the group, Powell’s Bookstore, and In Other Words. The zines can also be checked out from the Multnomah County Library!

And, speaking of the “Women of Color: How to Live in the City of Roses and Avoid the Pricks” zine, they have a submissions call up right now for their fifth issue! The fifth issue is themed for interviews and it’s an opportunity to interview a fantastic woman of color/person of color that you know doing great work in Portland and contribute to a great project. You can read more on their websitehttp://wocpdxzines.wordpress.com/woc-zine-collective-submissions.

If there is a theme to this post, it is that, whatever your battle in coping with oppression, you are not alone.

Keep showing up and we’ll find each other at all the nerd cons and wherever.

Accountability, Joe Biel, and Microcosm

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What I love about the zine community! Holding a person and a collective accountable for habitual abuse… http://heavymentaldistro.org/blog/open-letter-to-microcosm-publishing/ –  For those of you who ask why I don’t like Microcosm, here is a start for your reading and deciding for yourself. –

I have had several friends over the years ask me what the deal is with Joe Biel and Microcosm. Why don’t I like Microcosm? Should they participate in an anthology being put out by Microcosm or Joe? Should they have their zines sold by Microcosm? Does one guy really ruin it for everyone?

Well, maybe not for you, but, for me, yes.

When I first met Joe at a board game night about 8 years ago, I was just as charmed as most people are by him. This was despite the fact that he was as condescending as all get out, including making fun of me and saying I was a vegan poser because I went with my friends to Denny’s and ordered coffee. I didn’t take the remarks he made too seriously then, until I realized later that he can just be generally demeaning.  When I learned more about him from our interactions and from friends, including Alex Wrekk, I quickly became uncomfortable around him or anyone close to him. I don’t hate him, hate is too strong of a word… I just think he is boundary pushing, disrespectful, and probably emotionally abusive.

Probably that is, if any part of any story I had heard about his relationships was true, which I do believe many of the accounts I have heard to be true indeed. Of course, I heard about the complications of his relationship with Alex Wrekk first, but there were more beyond and past him, including a woman he as in relationship with after Alex who now tells a similar story as Alex’s about their relationship… As well as knowing the perspective of outside mediators that have tried to work with Alex and Joe. And also, knowing how he and Microcosm have related to other businesses and people whose work they publish and/or distribute.

It’s complicated to explain more about all of this in  blog post. I started writing this post as a much longer entry, but, ultimately, I don’t have time or energy right now. So I will post what I have told many friends over the years:

If you want to here a lot more details about all of this and my personal perspective, just give me a call or let’s have coffee. I will tell you what I know, how I feel and why…

Meanwhile, I will volunteer what I have said a few times, including what I told a lady friend who asked me recently over the phone about Joe Beil and Microcosm. I, personally, don’t feel comfortable with him or Microcosm for a variety of reasons, but I would not hold it against you or anyone else for deciding to participate in an anthology project or being distributed with them. You have my acceptance, I just don’t advise it because I think he and the collective are unethical and not accountable. I am not going to judge you for getting involved with them if you feel skeptical because you don’t have a first-hand experience of being treated unethically by Joe or Miscrocosm… And I hope you don’t. When I know a person or a company or a organization has behaved unethically, however, I try to steer clear of it. Unless, of course, I do see some real accountability on the person’s or company’s or organization’s part.

While I think Joe Biel is lame and the situation with Microcosm kind of sucks, I am glad for what I see in the wake of all of it: A community that calls out abuse and talks about it. A community that expects accountability in a respectful way. A community that doesn’t launch a witch-hunt, but does demand a dialogue about unethical practices and seeks a meaningful solution.

Thanks to all the zinesters that are brave about standing in solidarity against abuse and other unethical behavior. You are all rad.

Written by lovemotionstory

June 29, 2012 at 3:22 pm

“From the oyster to the eagle…”

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A question posed to me on formspring about oysters…

Animal rights activist Peter Singer made an exception for eating oysters. Oysters, he said, could be harvested in an environmentally sustainable way, and because of the lack of a central nervous system, were incapable of suffering. What do you think?

I think it’s fabulously interesting to mull over (that’s the inner biologist in me talking), but I think I will still abstain.

I actually love slate.com and originally read the findings you mention on oysters here: http://www.slate.com/id/2248998/

Peter Singer actually began to make an exception for oysters, but he then retracted it saying, “one cannot with any confidence say that these creatures do feel pain, so one can equally have little confidence in saying that they do not feel pain.”

While I wouldn’t judge a vegan who chose to eat local oysters and agree that it makes more ecological and environmental sense to eat oysters (well, for the record, I am also not in the habit of judging vegetarians or omnivores about their dietary habits either) as opposed to buying Field Roast from Seattle or maybe even Tofurky (more local to me, but still highly packaged), I am not interested in crossing that line. In that same vein, I try to limit my purchases of Field Roast, Tofurky, nonlocal tofu and even produce (I am growing quite a lot in my new and extensive garden). I love Dave’ Killer Bread not just because it’s yummy and healthy, but also because it’s made locally.

We humans are quite amazing animals and we constantly are discovering more and more ways we’re not much more sophisticated and/or intelligent than all other animals, as well as discovering how much more sophisticated and intelligent many animals are compared to what we thought… Because of this, it’s easier for me to just cut out animal products altogether so that I am not worried about the potential unknown, that I unknowingly caused harm to and/or inflicted suffering on another animal. I recently even gave up honey–yes, yes, the horror! I have been vegan for over 6 years and yet I didn’t feel inspired to give up honey until recently. But, there you go, that’s just it. Ideas change, motivations change, I am definitely open to changing my mind when presented with new evidence or other philosophies, which probably contributes to my lack of judging other peoples’ diets.

My personal motivations for being vegan involve minimizing unnecessary harm and suffering of my fellow animals, minimizing damage to the environment/ecosystems from which my food sources come, and minimizing my carbon footprint. So, I am still not interested in eating oysters because I wonder if we can be totally sure the oysters don’t mind. I just rather not run the risk that I have caused another animal harm without realizing it and I am doing quite alright without eating oysters.

Written by lovemotionstory

July 14, 2010 at 8:48 am

Saying “I like you” is okay, really!

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Here’s a recent question I received seeking dating advice:

I feel like an idiot for asking this but I’m a 20-something dude. And I want to make it very clear to this girl that I like her. We’ve gone on dates and I’ve paid for stuff, but still. Do I just say “HEY, I LIKE YOU”? That seems so high school.

Being honest can be hard and feel awkward, but when you are honest, you’re more likely to get what you want or need and less likely to be ignored or misinterpreted. You should not feel like an idiot for asking, liking someone, navigating relationships and feelings, it’s hard for MOST people. I think that’s part of the reason people have these elaborate dating games and courtship rituals before just saying, “HEY, I LOVE YOU,” but there are other reasons, like, learning more about the person we’re attracted to before jumping into bed or in love with them. Saying “HEY, I LIKE YOU” may make you feel like you’re back high school, but maybe that’s because during high school was a time period where more of us were more likely to be direct IF we told someone when we liked them because we didn’t have any ideas as to what else to do, before we learned various dating games or got hurt enough times to make us more likely to be emotionally gun shy. I don’t know, but what I DO know is that being direct will bring the situation to head.

There are definitely more mature or suave ways to do it, maybe during or after one of your nice get-togethers (which, yes, sound remarkably like dates), maybe not in all caps, you can bring it up. Just say something honest and direct like, “Hey, so, I have been asking you to hang out so much because I thought I may like you and, after spending time hanging out with you, it’s clear to me that I definitely like you in a more [dately/romantic/intimate] way. How do you feel?” If she’s interested in the same sort of relationship that you are, you both can move forward from there, exploring your compatibility in an honest and mature way . If she’s NOT interested, you can thank her for being honest back to you and move forward with your clearly-no-more-than-friendship relationship.

I also should point out that, she MUST be interested in you in SOME way. If she’s agreeing to hang out with you and letting you pay for things, that a huge sign. In our society, paying for things is often a gesture of romance. I feel awkward letting guys I date pay for everything, so I often announce I will get the next one. Or, if a male friend is trying to pay for me that I don’t like, I insist on covering my half of the bill because I don’t want him to think we’re on a date. Or, if I think I am on a date with a girl and I really like her, I offer to pay for her and girls have insisted on paying for me, saying I can get the next one. If she’s not considering an interest in you that’s more than friendship, than it’s kind of lame that she’d be letting you pay for things (unless she’s reciprocating) and she may just be enjoying the attention. So, you being up front now saves yourself a lot of time if she’s just interested in the attention you’re giving her and has no interest in you.

Have something you’re mulling over? Ask me about it!

Written by lovemotionstory

June 22, 2010 at 11:54 pm