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Archive for the ‘harassment’ Category

On Oppression, Intersectionality, and Solidarity

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I wanted to share this comic that I saw thanks to my friend Chelsea.

 

Word! I love that this was this person’s final project, the comic highlights a common misogyny in nerd culture and it is so bravely personal. Total respect for the feminism here, this person showing their own struggle and being vulnerable, while recognizing another perspective for women in nerd culture who is also struggling even though they might conform to narrow guidelines of beauty-based-on-size.

If you relate to being left out by the rampant sexism in comics and nerd culture, if you relate to being belittled, objectified, harassed, etc. based on your gender despite thinking that nerd space should be a safe space… Well, you might also want to check out this amazing article by super intelligent nerd, Rachel Ediden. http://feminspire.com/idiot-nerd-girl-has-a-posse-taking-back-the-meme/

Speaking of super intelligent nerds, I went to the really awesome panel “Looking Past the Target Audience” at SCF this past weekend, but missed it at ECCC. It was really great to listen to the conversation with Rachel EdidinAndy KhouriFaith Erin HicksScotty IseriSfé M., and David Walker sitting on the panel. There was a lot on intersectionality, which was crucial! Intersectionality is a concept often used to describe the ways in which oppressive institutions (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, xenophobia, classism, etc.) are INTERCONNECTED and cannot be examined separately from one another. Third Wave Feminism, especially, thrived on the concept of intersectionality in order to redefine Feminism as inclusive. The concept of intersectionality first came from legal scholar Kimberle Crenshaw in 1989 and is largely used in critical theories, especially Feminist theory, when discussing systematic oppression.

If you missed it or if you want to be having these kinds of discussions, I would recommend checking out their tumblr (thatonepanel.tumblr.com).

For me, one of the most moving moments of the panel was when Sfé was talking about how an aspect of their process for creating Kyle & Atticus was to write a gender queer character with positive support and acceptance in their life. I think it really hit home for me because a lot of the stuff Matt, Marco, and I have been dealing with Matt’s parents understanding what our polyamorous relationship means and learning that I am a queer atheist. Essentially, he’s been coming out to them and it’s been really hard. That in addition to struggles I have always had with people being unsupportive toward me. This struggle, having parents, acquaintances, lovers, and even a long-time best-friend have acted as if they are shamed by me or have been demeaning or hateful toward me for any of the various reasons people have antagonistic or problematic relationships with me. That I am a woman, that I am queer, that I am polyamorous, that I  am or do all these things that they can’t relate to, that I fall under any of the labels in their mind that they view as “bad” and then I go on to dare to have opinions, ideas, boundaries, and confidence to be myself. I am motivated to work with kids exactly because I want to try to be that influence in their life, to be the person who says, “You have a voice and it’s important.” Or, “I accept who you are and I will treat you as a person with their own autonomy and agency.” To be a supportive adult. To be an educator that empowers kids to think for themselves and to be themselves. I write about my experiences in the hopes that I can grow and that I might provide support to peers who can see themselves in me because I realize the positive impact that people have had in my life by being themselves and being open about it, as I have written about a few times on this blog. I really respected that Sfé talked about writing supportive roles in the comics on purpose, because I agree with her that creating those characters in stories feeds into the mothers and friends and parents and whoever seeing themselves in the life of a gender queer person or other underrepresented, marginalized people in our society. We really need those role models.

I also want to give huge props to the panel “The Big Picture,” where a bit of gender and intersectionality issues were discussed kind of inadvertently, with Alison Baker, Kelly Sue DeConick, Jen Vaughn, Shannon Watters, and Emi Lenox. As well as the focus of the panel, discussing how the internet has changed comics, especially independent publishing as, to my knowledge, most of the panelists had roots in indie comics and zines.

Personally, I believe that one of the biggest steps in activism is showing up, being visible.

If you have the ability and patience just to be there, that is a huge step.

Do what you can, REALIZE WHAT YOU CAN DO.

Do say hello to the creators and organizations you do want to support. Do buy zines and comics or whatever from the creators you think deserve it for whatever reason you value them. Do go to the panels that talk about issues you care about. Do say thank you (in person or online) to the panelists, we can’t hear it enough. Do blog/tweet/whatever about it. Do talk to your friends about the creations and panels you do enjoy or support. Do volunteer for an organization you think serves a valuable role in your community. Do go to an event that highlights creators and issues that you feel are important or meaningful. Do start your own event, especially if it’s an event you wish existed but doesn’t. Do make your own stories and creative work that reflects your experience, your passion, your values, your ideas. Do listen to or support the people who have different experiences than yourself.

I long lost the patience to volunteer for SCF, but I try to keep showing up to support the people who I do see promoting real conversations and ethical work I commend those who love comics and other cismale/white dominated communities. I have been able to devote myself to working on the Portland Zine Symposium as an organizer for so many years because it strives and works hard to be a safe space, an inclusive community with anti-oppressive ethics.

Also, I want to take this opportunity to promote the Women of Color Zine Symposium at PSU happening this summer, on June 8th. This is such an important event to support to me. It was started by Tonya Jones, a long-time Portland Zine Symposium attendee, powerful writer, and zine educator. The WOC Zine group that she started has self-published three issues of “Women of Color: How to Live in the City of Roses and Avoid the Pricks.” All three issues are available for $3 from the group, Powell’s Bookstore, and In Other Words. The zines can also be checked out from the Multnomah County Library!

And, speaking of the “Women of Color: How to Live in the City of Roses and Avoid the Pricks” zine, they have a submissions call up right now for their fifth issue! The fifth issue is themed for interviews and it’s an opportunity to interview a fantastic woman of color/person of color that you know doing great work in Portland and contribute to a great project. You can read more on their websitehttp://wocpdxzines.wordpress.com/woc-zine-collective-submissions.

If there is a theme to this post, it is that, whatever your battle in coping with oppression, you are not alone.

Keep showing up and we’ll find each other at all the nerd cons and wherever.

A brief word on rape culture with a lot of quotes…

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I posted this on facebook and twitter, but I wanted to dedicate a blog post to it.

You know what is a huge factor in rape?

A culture and media that blames victims and more readily sympathizes with people who commit rape rather than the people who have actually been raped.

CNN’s coverage has been completely unethical, but so has most the mainstream reporting on this case. Reporting like this feeds into why people feel entitled to each other’s bodies as possessions and objects, rather than understanding that consent is key and no one has a right to your body except for you.

Silence is not a yes, inebriation is not a yes, a short skirt is not a yes.

Here also is a list of links that covering the problematic way the Steubenville case was reported on, as well as a relevant petition for an apology from CNN…

http://www.upworthy.com/cnn-pays-touching-tribute-to-the-rapists-who-attacked-a-16-year-old-girl
http://www.change.org/petitions/cnn-apologize-on-air-for-sympathizing-with-the-steubenville-rapists
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/18/fox-news-steubenville-rape-victim_n_2901635.html
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/03/18/fox-news-airs-name-of-16-year-old-steubenville-rape-victim/

And here also is some very articulate writings on rape culture  and our society’s reactions…

When the allegations that such men committed rape are first revealed, there is an endless supply of people to normalize and excuse what they did; to doubt that the victim says, and also to blame her own behavior for whatever happened to her (usually under the guise of “well-meaning” rape prevention advice.) When they are tried, CNN and other media outlets qualify every statement about their culpable conduct with words like “allegedly,” and while this is necessary for liability reasons it subtly but surely conveys the impression to the audience that CNN doesn’t believe her.

The justice system so rarely works in the victim’s favor. Rape is the least-reported major crime because rape victims fear for their own mental health if they submit to a process that interrogates every aspect of their conduct — and often their past — and leans so heavily on their credibility. When reported, their stories are often rejected as unprosecutable. When tried, jurors’ biases often result in acquittals that are facially unjustified. And sometimes, particularly with celebrities like Kobe Bryant, the victim’s name becomes widely known and death threats from fans literally force her to withdraw her complaint.
– http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2013/03/18/steubenville-candy-crowley-and-the-social-license-to-operate-an-open-letter/

Here’s the thing—when you argue that it’s impossible to teach men not to rape, you are saying that rape is natural for men. That this is just something men do. Well I’m sorry, but I think more highly of men than that. (And if you are a man who is making this argument, you’ll forgive me if I don’t ever want to be in a room alone with you.)

And when you insist that the only way to prevent rape is for women to change their behavior—whether it’s recommending that they carry a weapon or not wear certain kinds of clothing—you are not only giving out false information, you are arguing that misogyny is a given. That the world will continue to be a dangerous and unfair place for women and we should just get used to the fact. It’s a pessimistic and, frankly, lazy view on life. Because when you argue that this is “just the way things are,” what you are really saying is, I don’t care enough to do anything about it.

Do people making this argument really want to live in a world where we just shrug our shoulders at epidemic-levels of sexual violence and expect every woman to be armed? (And little girls, do we give them guns too?)
– http://www.thenation.com/blog/173298/rape-not-inevitable-zerlina-maxwell-men-and-hope

Teach young men to see women’s humanity, instead of seeing them as sexual objects for male pleasure: There is a reason why women are shamed into silence and why teenage boys in Steubenville, Ohio are caught on camera laughing about gang raping an unconscious girl at a party.  The dehumanization of women spans all areas of American life.

There is no shortage of evidence that rape culture results from the objectification of women and the view that we exist simply for male pleasure. When a ESPN football commentator implies that the reward for being a star quarterback is that you get to have a pretty girlfriend, that takes away a woman’s individual agency.  She is simply an object to be possessed.  An object there for male desire and nothing more.

The young men in Steubenville aren’t monsters.  They did something monstrous and criminal but perhaps we should begin to stop repeating the notion that “criminals” are the ones raping 1 in 5 women.  No, it’s our husbands, boyfriends, acquaintances, relatives, and friends and they rape because they are not taught to see women as full autonomous human.
http://www.ebony.com/news-views/5-ways-we-can-teach-men-not-to-rape-456#axzz2NS2HvaAz

Let me also point to some well written allowance for sorrow for what has happened in a way that honors the humanity of everyone involved.

I do feel sorry for these boys. And not only because they will be put in cages that will not make them any better. I also feel sorry that two 16-year-olds are capable of the things these boys have been found guilty of doing. That makes me deeply, deeply sad. ​That we have created a world in which, at just 16 years old, and even younger, boys can already hate girls this much. That they can already dehumanize and degrade them. That misogyny is so insidious and so effective as to make 16-year-old boys incapable of respecting this girl, of seeing her as a human being with the right to make her own choices, even when drunk, and the right to remain unviolated, even when passed out. I am sorry for these boys that, at 16, some of their humanity is already gone. The cruelty of kids is not new, and I guess it should not shock me, but this specifically gendered cruelty, at such extreme levels and at such a young age, is shocking to me. And I do feel very sorry for these boys.

Just not as sorry as I feel for the girl they raped.
– http://blackgirldangerous.org/new-blog/2013/3/17/1g5wckiks8gpa0iahe4zc46go4awsu

 

And what do we do? I am firmly in the camp advocating that we MUST TALK about these issues. And we need to all talk about them in a real and accountable way, a way that takes into account the broad scope of problems that feed into misogyny and rape culture, a way that makes us all responsible. We all need to be allied in the fight against oppression and recognize the very real privileges any of us hold. If you are a male person, perhaps it feels overwhelming. Here is another great article I have seen passed around for what you can do, everyday, as a potential male ally against rape culture and misogyny.

Part of male privilege is that, as men, we expect people to listen to what we have to say, and that’s no surprise—we’re socialized to take men’s voices seriously, to hear authority in them. And as much of a problem as that is, I can’t help but consider a few possibilities. An obvious start is for fathers to talk to their sons about consent, but there’s more. Think of the power that a high school football coach has to talk about violence against women. Think of how this kind of message sounds coming from an educator whose primary field has nothing to do with social justice. Think of how far consent culture can spread when a popular male artist, or blogger, or politician starts talking about it. And you don’t have to be a celebrity or leader to be powerful—anyone with a Twitter account or Facebook page can push the conversation forward.
http://opineseason.com/2013/03/18/how-men-can-take-an-active-role-in-disrupting-and-dismantling-rape-culture/

Written by lovemotionstory

March 20, 2013 at 4:03 pm

Some of Those, “What Was I Thinking?” Moments Today

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The weirdest thing about the video thing I made to help promote that event thing, was editing it months later and seeing an ex, once adored and celebrated by me, sitting there staring at his phone and completely disengaged from the totally cool community thing happening all around him. Foreshadowing, folks.

He wasn’t the worst, not by a long shot. I have a lot of fond memories from the beginning of our relationship, before he stopped trying and before he let his negative demons run rampant. I actually even feel bad for the dude. I cried and agonized over limiting my time with him at the end of our relationship, when he was simultaneously saying I was crowding him and then complaining that I was too busy working on PZS.

But, gosh, was he such a draaaaaaaaaaag. Like, weeks and weeks before that. And completely inconsistent in his ethics (as in, bothered when people were racist, but often unsympathetic and even blaming toward me for being bothered when dudes were being sexist or harassing me). And unreliable for collaboration. But I kept thinking I just needed to be there for him. I am sure there is something to be said for not immediately jumping ship when he started to show negative behaviors, for trying to talk to him about them and be patient, and there were times he was there for me, but I definitely might have waited a little too long to retreat.

I am way thankful for my current partners. Engaged, sincere, willing to be challenged by life, giving, mature, and cavity-inducingly sweet. I so love Matt and Marco.

To my friends who were skeptical of me dating a comedian back then? Well, you were right.

Written by lovemotionstory

January 28, 2013 at 10:40 pm

Accountability, Joe Biel, and Microcosm

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What I love about the zine community! Holding a person and a collective accountable for habitual abuse… http://heavymentaldistro.org/blog/open-letter-to-microcosm-publishing/ –  For those of you who ask why I don’t like Microcosm, here is a start for your reading and deciding for yourself. –

I have had several friends over the years ask me what the deal is with Joe Biel and Microcosm. Why don’t I like Microcosm? Should they participate in an anthology being put out by Microcosm or Joe? Should they have their zines sold by Microcosm? Does one guy really ruin it for everyone?

Well, maybe not for you, but, for me, yes.

When I first met Joe at a board game night about 8 years ago, I was just as charmed as most people are by him. This was despite the fact that he was as condescending as all get out, including making fun of me and saying I was a vegan poser because I went with my friends to Denny’s and ordered coffee. I didn’t take the remarks he made too seriously then, until I realized later that he can just be generally demeaning.  When I learned more about him from our interactions and from friends, including Alex Wrekk, I quickly became uncomfortable around him or anyone close to him. I don’t hate him, hate is too strong of a word… I just think he is boundary pushing, disrespectful, and probably emotionally abusive.

Probably that is, if any part of any story I had heard about his relationships was true, which I do believe many of the accounts I have heard to be true indeed. Of course, I heard about the complications of his relationship with Alex Wrekk first, but there were more beyond and past him, including a woman he as in relationship with after Alex who now tells a similar story as Alex’s about their relationship… As well as knowing the perspective of outside mediators that have tried to work with Alex and Joe. And also, knowing how he and Microcosm have related to other businesses and people whose work they publish and/or distribute.

It’s complicated to explain more about all of this in  blog post. I started writing this post as a much longer entry, but, ultimately, I don’t have time or energy right now. So I will post what I have told many friends over the years:

If you want to here a lot more details about all of this and my personal perspective, just give me a call or let’s have coffee. I will tell you what I know, how I feel and why…

Meanwhile, I will volunteer what I have said a few times, including what I told a lady friend who asked me recently over the phone about Joe Beil and Microcosm. I, personally, don’t feel comfortable with him or Microcosm for a variety of reasons, but I would not hold it against you or anyone else for deciding to participate in an anthology project or being distributed with them. You have my acceptance, I just don’t advise it because I think he and the collective are unethical and not accountable. I am not going to judge you for getting involved with them if you feel skeptical because you don’t have a first-hand experience of being treated unethically by Joe or Miscrocosm… And I hope you don’t. When I know a person or a company or a organization has behaved unethically, however, I try to steer clear of it. Unless, of course, I do see some real accountability on the person’s or company’s or organization’s part.

While I think Joe Biel is lame and the situation with Microcosm kind of sucks, I am glad for what I see in the wake of all of it: A community that calls out abuse and talks about it. A community that expects accountability in a respectful way. A community that doesn’t launch a witch-hunt, but does demand a dialogue about unethical practices and seeks a meaningful solution.

Thanks to all the zinesters that are brave about standing in solidarity against abuse and other unethical behavior. You are all rad.

Written by lovemotionstory

June 29, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Dealing with regular, public harassment.. You know, just because I am a “Bitch.”

with 3 comments

I want to let comedian friends know that, last night, Jon and I left the Suki’s open mic early because a man who has verbally harassed me and other women at the Boiler Room for *years* happened to be at Suki’s.

I kind of freaked out when I realized he was there because a few months ago, when he was being verbally harassing and demeaning toward me at the Boiler Room, after the open mic and during some fun karaoke, I made fun of him back, in the middle of the song I was singing. I basically said, “Look man, I have seen you for years here at the Boiler Room, harassing me and other women, drunkenly, being demeaning and hostile for in person, while also singing songs about slapping bitches and being gangster. Yet, here you are still, getting drunk alone and angry. Put two-and-two together and stop being angry at women, you’re drunk and alone because you’re a horrible person.” He proceeded to get very angry and try to escalate the situation further, making remarks about how I was dressed, saying I oughtta get slapped, etc. The bar staff asked us to both calm down and stop, but, the next week, when I wasn’t there approached Jon and asked him to tell his lady friend (me) not to be starting problems with people.

This was incredibly frustrating to both of us because… A) How has the bar staff, who sees this guy more often than I ever have, not realized that the issue is this guy’s aggressive and horrible personality? Well, maybe because he often directs it at women, but have they seriously missed every time that I have seen him being harassing, demeaning, and aggressive to their female customers? B) If they think I was the problem, why the heck are they talking to Jon about it? Because they perceive that he is my boyfriend? It makes him feel like he’s in the middle of it, when he’s not the one who even said the thing to the problem guy, I was, and in response to him harassing me.

So, last night, as Jon and I were at the bar to order a beer for him and a tea for me, I see this guy who I honestly and truly find scary, and I start feeling scared. I feel I should be tougher than that, but I was not at all imagining seeing this guy there, I tap Jon on the shoulder and exclaim something like, “This guy?! This guy is here, Jon! Crap, what is this guy doing here??” Admittedly, all while saying this, I was obviously pointing at him.

It’s our turn to order at the bar, so I turn to talk to the really nice and awesome bartender that usually works Suki’s on Tuesdays, during the open mic. My adrenalin is pumping, my heart is racing, so I decide to say something ahead of time, “Hey, just so you know, there is a guy here that has repeatedly verbally harassed me at another bar, as well as other women…” He asked who, I turn around behind me to point to the guy out, turn back around and say, “Can you just keep an eye out for him, because he is really aggressive and…”

Then I am interrupted by none other than the problem guy, who has walking up next to the bar on the stairs next to and just above me, and loudly announces something to the tune of, “Hey, these people,” pointing to Jon (standing behind me) and myself, “have a problem with me, but you just keep them away from me and we’ll be fine!” There was a quick back and forth in which I think the bartender and Jon try to tell him to go sit down, while I say something to the tune of “You’re are the person that has been consistently harassing me, dude.” He walks away then I try to order my drink, but, at this point I am shaking and tearing up. The bartender’s tone is uncomfortable and seems, to me, slightly apologetic as he asks what kind of tea I want…

After all this, Jon and I sat back down at our table, but I am past the point of feeling safe or comfortable enough to stay and I can’t seem to stop crying or shaking, probably just from the adrenalin. I go outside to try to collect myself, but I feel more freaked out before not, Jon isn’t sure what to do and tries to be present with me despite the fact that I am freaked out. When I finally calm down enough, Jon and I decide to leave, but not before I go back to the bar to tell the bouncer at the door of Suki’s (who has always seemed like a nice guy) that I am leaving because of that guy and to explain why.

The bouncer at Suki’s is really awesome about it. He says something along the lines of “I would hate to see you guys leave because of one guy, I can keep an eye on him if you want to try to stay,” as well as a few other supportive things. He seems to be caring and listening. I thank him and explain that I am already too upset to stay this time, but that what he is saying really helps and that I will probably feel safer and less surprised if I ever see him there again, so maybe I will be able to stay.

I think that part of why I got so scared was because I was not prepared to deal with this guy’s really aggressive bullying, I was completely caught off guard. I have been to the Boiler Room without further incident since the time that problem guy had gotten extra aggressive to me because I responded to his harassing remarks, but only because I go there if I am feeling strong enough to deal with ignoring any harassment throne my way.

Walking into Suki’s yesterday, I had just been having a lovely day with Jon, having gone to help the filming that at IPRC, then to Nerd Night to see friends, then planning on enjoying the Suki’s open mic. I had only mentally prepared myself to try to ignore the few ridiculously racist and sexist jokes that inevitably occur at comedy open mics (but that is another post entirely, isn’t it?), not full blown harassment directed at me.

I also wanted to point out that this problem guy’s harassment toward me started out as “complimentary.” He made remarks about me looking hot at the Boiler Room, made remarks about wanting to “do somethin’ with [my] ass,” and so on for the first handful of times. Each time I was dismissive, either through ignoring him or being like, “Uh, no.” Over time, he became more aggressive and more negative. The last occasion, when I really responded to his demeaning in length, he even suggested violence. Yet the bar staff/bouncers at Boiler Room acted as though I was the instigator. Perhaps they lacked the ongoing context, but the context of that night should have been enough, I think. Woman in the karaoke bar is singing, man says demeaning things, women stops singing to insult him back, man retaliates with further remarks including a statement of physical violence.

I fully know that, in his mind, I began insulting him when I did not respond favorably and appreciatively to his sexually harassing “compliments.” And, just for the sake of linking it, there was recently an astute article on cracked.com explaining at least 5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women.  Like many cracked.com articles, however, it did not go on to discuss what you or other men can do about it. I hope that writing about a personal experience gets some men that I know thinking more about what it can feel like to be experiencing harassment, randomly or regularly, and what they can do about it.

It is frustrating to deal with harassing situations because, sometimes, it feels like being a woman means you have to put on armor (physical and/or emotional) before going somewhere or doing something or just being yourself. The things is, being a woman should not mean that you have to put on armor before going somewhere or doing something or just being yourself. 

The reality is that people should just be behaving better. No matter who you are talking to, what gender the person you are talking to is, and no matter what a person is wearing when you see them.

If you like to wear short skirts, you may find yourself thinking, “Should I put this on today, and I prepared to deal with catcalling?” I find myself thinking that, even though I know that social records and studies have shown that what you wear has nothing to do with whatever verbal harassment or sexual assault you may experience (http://www.voicesandfaces.org/rape.asphttp://pathwayscourses.samhsa.gov/vawp/vawp_supps_pg11.htmhttp://www.rainn.org/statisticshttp://www.stopstreetharassment.org/http://www.cwfefc.org/svfacts.htmlhttp://www.mencanstoprape.org/Resources/http://www.ncur20.com/presentations/14/1474/paper.pdf). The facts of the matter indicate that I am likely to encounter sexual harassment or assault just based on the fact that I am a woman. Yet, I still fight the urge to blame myself for how men treat me, fully knowing many facts about verbal harassment, sexual assault, and rape….

In case you don’t click on any of the above links, some potentially meaningful facts to think about regarding how unsafe it can feel to be a women in our society include:

– Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.
– 4 out of 5 students (81%) have experienced some from of sexual harassment during their school years.
–  When asked, “Have you ever been harassed (such as verbal comments, honking, whistling, kissing noises, leering/staring, groping, stalking, attempted or achieved assault, etc) while in a public place like the street, on public transportation, or in a store?” Ninety-nine percent of the 225  respondents, which included some men, said they had been harassed at least a few times. Over 65 percent said they were harassed on at least a monthly basis.
– 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail.
– 38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance.
– 1 out of 6 women have been victims of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime.
– Rapists are more likely to be a serial criminal than a serial rapist.

I wanted to share this because I felt embarrassed at reacting so negatively and needing to leave, though I know that I am not the one who should feel embarrassed, the harassing guy is the one who should feel embarrassed. The thing is, he probably will never understand that his behavior is not okay because he hangs out at places where people enable him to be a harassing and demeaning person or just have a blind eye to it (apparently, places like the Boiler Room) and  he probably doesn’t remember half of his behavior. I hope that talking about it might help create a safer environment through shared awareness.

When you are a person that has experienced violence in your life, especially from abusive men, it is harder to brush off a random guy at the bar who says things like “Bitch, you oughtta shut up before you get slapped…”  I hope that explaining this kind of horrible and behavior will help more men tune into how the men around them may be creating an unsafe environment for their female friends and how they may be enabling it… Or simply not noticing it because it’s not directed at them.

If you are a guy and you want to think more about how to be a good ally to women in the face of harassment, assault, and rape, consider checking out http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/male-allies/

And, think about some of these helpful intervention tips for males who want to be apart of the solution, not the problem: http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/male-allies/bystander-tips/

Here is a kind of cheesy-but-awesome video of how you can respond when you see other men making women uncomfortable….

Written by lovemotionstory

April 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm